Yup, I just hit my three year anniversary in January. I'm definitely happy, but my wife isn't a gamer and it has become increasingly obvious that my gaming time has dwindled. Our time together during the week after work is important, and I don't want to hog the 50" HDTV and rudely shove her in the bedroom just to play games. I guess I'm just thoughtful like that.

Yet, this wasn't exactly unexpected -- I've kicked my beer drinking up a notch from Bud Light to Sam Adams. I've got a real job, with real responsibilities. I've got chores, and family expectations. And, I've got a LOT less free time. So, it was interesting to find that the vast majority of other adult gamers have adopted the same nightly ritual I have without ever discussing their solution with other gamers.

As gamers get older and wiser, we're going to inevitably create unique solutions to solve our gaming problems -- just like this one. I've spent the last week doing some market research on this exact topic. Click here to get lost in the five page NeoGAF thread I started on this very topic. Or, you can cut to the chase and keep reading for the summation of the discussion.

If I still have energy after work, I'll game from 10 to midnight.

This is it. Prime Time. This is the Married Gamer's last bastion of interactive entertainment solidarity...assuming I decide to stay up.

Between work and normal responsibilities, it's become harder to stay awake past 10. Four cups of coffee a day and eating healthy can't even keep me up most nights these days. I've gotten more responsibility at the office - which is welcomed - but it's sucking my brain's energy like a vacuum in a leaf factory. I can dream about Mario Galaxy all day at work, and then continue to dream when my head slams the pillow that night...

Only to get up and start dreaming all over again without ever actually playing. Things sure are different when you get close to approaching 30. And I don't even have any kids yet.

Interestingly enough, the vast majority of adult gamers (including those with children) have taken a similar approach to an identical problem. Out of 200+ posts on the related NeoGAF thread, over 95 claim to game after their wife or girlfriend goes to sleep. It's become a generally accepted practice in most modern gaming households. The guy gets his man-time, the woman gets her alone time (books, television, etc.) and everyone's happy until the alarm goes off the next morning.

According to oneHeero, "I dont get to play till 9pm due to the exact same reasons, tack on the fact that I have a child, it's even more difficult. So I try to play from 9pm-11pm tops. Or when I have a gamebattle, I let her know in advance and it's ok."

Member Davidion sums up his situation: "Between spending time with her, the job, professional development, trying to read, keeping in touch with friends, going partying, dining, researching music, family matters, personal philosophical pursuits, other hobbies/studies and trying to go to school, time is becoming an increasingly rare commodity...(and) it doesn't help that gaming is rather time intensive."

For those that are lucky enough to have a man-cave in a basement, consider yourself blessed. For those of us that can't enjoy that luxury, it's also become a trend that online-gaming is often a weeknight no-no. Since screaming "GODDAMNIT" and "NEWB" into a headset at very high volumes would likely bother your spouse, most gamers have nullified that option. Rather, most stick to comfy headphones and crank the volume to something that's single player. I'd estimate that's how I'm now personally gaming between 4-6 hours a week.

I've been enjoying my nightly two hour gaming ritual since we moved in together during the summer of 2002. For those of you that aren't aware yet, living together changes just a few things...or rather, everything. Whereas my memories of a three day Metal Gear Solid 2 marathon were still fresh when we first moved in together, I honestly can't recall a similar experience in the last few years. And, that's not a bad thing.

Well, upon second thought, there was that one week with Resident Evil 4. And that one week with God of War. And those few months I played World of Warcraft. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I haven't sacrificed much of anything gaming wise. In fact, I've got a really balanced life right now. My wife is phenomenally accepting (Happy Valentine's Day!) and I've got more games than I have time to play -- even with my nightly ritual.

And, if you're really lucky, you might get your non-gaming wife to occasionally play with you, as I just watched my wife complete Beyond Good & Evil.

So how did I do it? What's the big secret for the married gamer you ask?

Back rubs. Lots and lots of back rubs. Or, if all else fails, use the matrix below.




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