Sonic Sprints Onto Apple's iPod

Apple…Sega. iPod…Sonic. Cool? Maybe…

Not too long ago, Sega announced that a version of the original Sonic the Hedgehog would be available for download and play on game enabled iPods. Classic games becoming available on new platforms is always a good thing, right? Not necessarily, just know that my skepticism has nothing to do with my disdain for everyone’s favorite cobalt-skinned Erinaceus albiventris.

I’m a huge fan of the Sonic franchise. Need proof? I was singing the praises of Sega Genesis long before I owned a Super Nintendo. In fact, for a time in the early 90’s, I was that guy who swore Sonic was more iconic than Mario and that Phantasy Star III was better than Final Fantasy III (US). So what's my problem with Sega expanding to iPods?

For starters, let's examine the phenomenon that is the iPod. If you have a Zen, a Zune (is "Z" finally usurping the title of coolest letter from "X"?), or any one of a myriad of other MP3 players on the market, you've more than likely come across this perplexing concept:

There are MP3 players…and then there are iPods. Don't think there's a difference? You better duck if you're anywhere in the vicinity of your standard Apple fanboy.

Even the most technologically ignorant consumers, who stand a snowball's chance in Hell of succinctly explaining to you the purpose and function of an MP3 player have, at the very least, instant name recognition when it comes to iPods. How did Apple pull of this amazing magic trick of consumer recognition? Surprisingly enough, it has nothing to do with being the coolest technology on the block (bite me Comcast). Sure, iPods function well enough for their intended purpose, but take away the ease and comfort of iTunes and the iPod doesn't stand out as superior to any other popular MP3 player on the market. So what's Apple's secret? Why is it that every time Steve Jobs holds up the next iPod iteration (which weighs two grams less than its obese predecessor and features an increase in screen size of 0.000025 cm) consumers clamor for yet another chance to suckle at Apple's redundant teat? Simplicity, dear readers.

Like it or lump it, Apple's design aesthetics blow competitors out of the water. The iPod is a success because it embodies the philosophy of marrying form and function with the resulting product both elegant and poetic in its execution. So what does this have to do with poor Sonic?

iPods entered the market as an MP3 player, whose sole draw to consumers was the ability to carry a substantial collection of music far superior to the hassle of lugging around a huge CD player. iPods represent the triumph of simplicity, which is the very foundation of their success. Consumers have full access to their entire library of music while on the go. Now, with the advent of newer iPods, they can also watch movies, television shows, listen to podcasts (i.e., recordings) and now…play classic games from the golden age of gaming (disagree on that and we'll have to fight).

My point is, how much entertainment does this little device need? I'm less inclined to argue against video content, simply because it's still a passive form of entertainment, akin to listening to music. However, interactive games are a whole other animal and I question whether or not consumers will benefit from having games available on hardware initially designed to simply play music.

I don't mean to single Apple out, but this move is indicative of a problem that has been plaguing consumer electronics for some time. It's no longer acceptable for a device to be exceptional at its originally defined purpose or, for that matter, to have just one defined purpose. Everything needs to be a jack-of-all trades that replaces fifteen other devices since multi-tasking is a requirement these days. Just a thought, but jack-of-all trades, master of none is not a compliment—unless Apple is striving to give birth to the next N-Gage. Before you know it, iPods will be just as clogged and bogged down as home computers—loaded to the hilt with useless applications that only serve one purpose—to detract from and dilute the purity and simplicity that served as the foundation for the iPod's initial concept.

I'm all for moving forward on the technological front, but can carrying around the digital equivalent of a junk drawer really be considered progress? In my estimation, that's where we're headed. I'll always support giving new generations access to classics such as Sonic the Hedgehog, however, call me stubborn, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be forced to take on Dr. Robotnik using a Click Wheel. Maybe I'm just iSick.

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